The Alcohol Police has played a total of 144 matches in Age of Empires II. The Alcohol Police is at their best on Yucatan, winning 67.7% of 31 matches. Ranked play is untouched by The Alcohol Police, but their pocket performance is strong at 50.0%.

A US American player, The Alcohol Police is active in unranked with a 20.8% pick rate for Persians.